When I think of the Apostle Paul, I picture a fearless man. Bold and unapologetic. No, trouble being brave.
He was stoned, imprisoned, beaten, chased out of town, set on by mobs, hated by so many, and shipwrecked. Still, he kept on preaching. Such bravery!
Me? I’m not so brave. I prefer to write because then I don’t have to see people’s reactions to what I say. But even so, I still get scared about that too, and I was feeling unsure about something I’d written when God used the Apostle Paul to help me in a way I certainly didn’t expect.
In Acts chapter 18, Paul arrives in Corith, settles in with some tentmakers (you might recognize their names, Aquilla and Priscilla), and works alongside them daily while reasoning with the Jews and Greeks in the synagogue every Saturday. Seems to me like Paul’s usual modus operandi.
Then verse 5 says,
And when Silas and Timotheus were come from Macedonia, Paul was pressed in the spirit, and testified to the Jews that Jesus was Christ. Acts 18:5 KJV (read the full chapter here)
Why hadn’t Paul testified of Jesus as Christ before Timothy and Silas showed up?
I’d like to believe he’d just been waiting patiently for the Spirit to say, “Speak now.” But what if, like the abused prophet Jeremiah, Paul had had enough. He didn’t want to speak anymore. Only, God’s Word was like a ‘fire shut up in my bones’, and he had to speak because the Spirit pressed so urgently. (Jeremiah 20:9KJV)
It was a bit of a conundrum to me. I didn’t know which one was right. So, I kept reading.
The Jews opposed Paul’s teaching of Jesus, no real surprise there. Paul shook his raiment and left to go stay with someone else. Then the chief ruler of the synagogue came to believe in Christ and was baptised.
Things were looking up!
Then God comes to Paul by a special vision.
Well, the message must be something important. God doesn’t come in visions for no reason.
“Be not afraid, but speak, and hold not thy peace: For I am with thee, and no man shall set on thee to hurt thee: for I have much people in this city.” (verses 9b-10 KJV)
God told Paul not to be afraid. Not to hold his peace, and that God would protect him.
At first, I thought, “Was Paul afraid?” That doesn’t match the image I’ve always had of him. He was always bold and never held back.
And yet, God wouldn’t go to all the trouble of giving Paul a special message if it wasn’t needed.
This verse and verse 5 made me wonder if Paul had wanted a break. By chapter 18, Paul had already been stoned, beaten, and run out of so many towns. The world hated him.
What if Paul wanted to rest? ‘Just a little break, please, God. I’m tired of being brave Paul.’
Is that why God told him not to be afraid, and that He wouldn’t let any harm come to Paul here? Because Paul needed some reassurance, a sense of security. And in a way, a rest if not from preaching than from the constant threat and danger.
By chapters 20 and 21, the Spirit had told Paul of the afflictions awaiting him in Jerusalem, but he chose to bravely go anyway. Ready not only to be imprisoned but ‘to die at Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus’ so that he might ‘finish my course with joy.’ (Acts 21:31 and 20:24 KJV respectively)
That’s the Paul I remember.
I don’t know for certain if Paul was fearful in chapter 18, but I do I needed to hear that special message.
And maybe it’s what you need to hear too.
“Be not afraid, but speak and hold not thy peace: For I am with thee”. Acts 18:9-10a KJV
It is His power that carries us through.
It was never Paul’s strength. He finished his course as he lived his life, ‘through Christ which strengtheneth me.’ Philippians 4:13 KJV. And that same God, that same strength is there for our taking too.