”Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Theodore Roosevelt.
If there is one thing that waiting and trials have taught me about myself, it’s that I can get easily distracted. At times, my mind is like that of a little puppy; a thought pops into my head and instantly, I’m chasing it down the rabbit hole, only to snag on another thought and start chasing that instead. So many thoughts and ideas and memories flicker through my mind at any given moment, and I find myself bouncing around mentally trying to capture each one.
And if there is one thing that perpetuates this, it’s social media. I have realised that social media not only distracts me, but it also creates feelings of insecurity within me. It creates anxiety. It makes any season that I am in harder because it breeds comparison. As I scroll through the various feeds, all I see was how great everyone else’s life is. How happy everyone looks. It’s like when you want to buy a car. When you finally decide on the car and colour that you want, you see it everywhere!
Comparison is the thief of joy.
A little while ago, I found that each time I went on social media, all I would see what I didn’t have, and it made my heart ache. Not from envy, because I truly am happy for people when they get their dreams and their happy ever after’s. But my heart ached from longing. [bctt tweet=”Comparison is the thief of joy, and social media was triggering an attitude of comparison #comparison #joy #ACW #LaysHalawe” username=”acwriters @LHalawe”]; it was a constant reminder of what I so desperately wanted, yet everyone else seemed to have. I stopped seeing all the good things I have in my life. I stopped seeing the countless blessings God has poured out on me. All I could see was what I still didn’t have, and it made me sad and hurt and angry at God for holding out on me.
What I was seeing online was making me lose sight of what I did have; family and friends that loved me, a roof over my head, a job and enough money to eat and live, my health. But most importantly, it made me lose sight of God and His goodness. Instead of resting in the arms of my Saviour, I was turning my back on Him because it felt like he was holding out on me while blessing everyone else. I realised that I was starting to harden my heart towards God. And that realisation, more than any other, scared me. It showed me that my distraction was placing me on shaky ground because a hardened heart doesn’t express love and joy and peace and forgiveness. No, a hardened heart breeds bitterness and anger and forgiveness.
Get your joy back.
Life flows from the heart (Proverbs 4:23) and what’s in our heart is reflected in our words and actions. What we feed our mind impacts our heart, and I really needed to get my head and my heart right again, which meant removing myself from social media. I deactivated accounts or I removed apps from my phone. I disconnected from social media (in as best as I could because I use it for blogging) and it was the best thing for my weary heart. It helped me re-calibrate and focus on what was important. And it helped me get my joy back.
By removing myself from social media, I came to see that I was spending way too much looking out, instead of looking in. By deactivating and removing myself from social media, I was able to sit and spend time with God. Instead of scrolling, I would read a devotional, or scripture, or read a book. When my heart felt sad, I would pray instead of looking at what everyone else had. My heart and soul started to feel joy again and I found myself praying for others instead of comparing myself to them.
Don’t be discouraged.
I’m sure nothing I have shared is revolutionary. It may even seem extreme, or it may make me sound weak. And that’s okay, because getting my head and heart right was, and still is, crucial to my well-being. But maybe that’s where you are, too. Maybe you find yourself comparing yourself to others around you. You see what you don’t have, and you feel that you are lacking, or that God is holding out on you. You may be looking around in discouragement as everyone launches their books or blogs while you struggle to get words on a page. Maybe you tried and didn’t get the outcome that you wanted, while others succeeded.
If that’s you, can I encourage you to look around and see what’s causing you to compare yourself? Maybe it is social media, or a certain group of friends. Is there a page or group that you are part of that feeds into your insecurity and brings discouragement? It could be any number of things but whatever it is, ask yourself if it’s drawing you closer to God or if it’s turning you away from him and making you question his love for you. In every season, but most especially seasons of waiting or trial, we need to keep our face and hearts postured towards God. We need to rest in the arms of Jesus and let him bring healing and wholeness. We need to seek the One that made us and loves us and that has good things for us.
Hi Lays,
Wow, you’ve knocked this problem, that I think we all have at some stage, on the head. It’s not so much the act of comparison with me, but sadly asking God ‘why?’
I live with someone who compares all the time, not with others, but with what he used to have/own. If I’m honest, even if I don’t voice it, I do sometimes look back in my mind and regret certain things. But I do realise that true joy comes from appreciation and gratitude for everything God gives us, good or bad. He’s so much wiser than me. I like to have social media there so I can keep in the loop with family and friends, but it can be an enormous time waster. I’m still looking for motivation to write again … I know it will happen in His time, but I do still read a lot. I love reading the bible as you do, as well as Christian fiction. And I love reading blogs like yours. They are so encouraging and refreshing. May God always bless you abundantly ♡
I totally understand that, Josephine! It’s so easy to look back and remember what was and hold it up in comparison to what is. And I also appreciate not having motivation to write, I go in and out of those seasons too.
Glad my blog encouraged you, and I’ll be praying that God would spark the right motivation you desire! 💜
Comparison is especially present among us writers: ‘Wow, they’ve published so many books! They’re doing so well! How come I haven’t got mine published yet?’ I have to constantly remind myself that I’m on God’s timeline—no one else’s—and that he has planned enough days for me to get the work done that he has given me to do. I try to trust him with my work, knowing he sees everything that is done in secret, trusting that he will take my writing to those who need it most.
Absolutely, Steph! I have compared myself to so many writers and found myself lacking, but God’s time is best and if and when He wants me to publish something, He will make it happen. And amen, we keep walking in obedience and trust that He will use our writing for those He knows need it. Thanks for reading!