Devotional | No Longer I, a devotion by Keona Tann

On the 18th of May 2022, I was getting ready for my work placement and I was really struggling, now battling to get there wasn’t a new thing because almost every day I contended to get there. My reasons varied but mainly because it was so exhausting for me, the 2 afternoons a week completely flared up my adrenal fatigue.

But that day it felt significantly different, like almost impossible to get out the door, because I felt like I was being physically crushed by fatigue, it also felt like the burden to finish my diploma was simply too difficult. I had an assignment due which added extra pressure, but I also sensed that it was deeper than that. Before I could walk out the door I needed to pour out my heart to God and so I wrote:

Let Your will be done

“Let Your will be done.”
Easy words to say, hard words to live by.
Lord, I’m sorry for wiggling and squirming when Your will makes me uncomfortable.
I’m ashamed that I often want to run away from the things You Call me to do.
The things that are hard, messy, difficult, complicated and exhausting.
“Let Your will be done.”
Lord, no matter what I want to walk in Your ways.
I ask for the strength to endure the hard things,
for Your cleansing in the messy,
Your wisdom in the difficult,
I pray for Your solutions in the complicated
and Your sustaining grace when the tasks are exhausting.
“Let Your will be done.”
Right in this moment, tomorrow and forevermore.
I surrender to You my concerns, the burdens that weigh heavy.
I relinquish my need to control every minute of my day.
I cease from worrying about tomorrow and trust You to go before me.
I set aside my to-do list and I ask for Your leading, Your guiding, Your promptings.
“Let Your will be done.”
May that be my continual declaration, my heart’s cry, the driving factor of my life.
“Let Your will be done.”
May they be much more than just words.
“Let Your will be done”
May those words be my lifelong story.
May I show You that I am Your willing and obedient servant.
“Let Your will be done, Lord, not mine.”

Just as I finished pouring out my heart to God I got an email saying that due to bad weather the team couldn’t operate. I felt relieved and did some admin from home.

Jesus, Light of the world

A few days later I did some more reflecting upon my struggle and I was led to read 1 John 1:5-7, from the Amplified version I created a quick prayer:
Lord Jesus, Light of the world, I ask You to shine Your Light into my life. Remove every trace of darkness, cleanse me from every sin, every form of wickedness and correct all my imperfections. Holy Spirit enable me to walk in true fellowship with Jesus, to resist temptation and always practice the Truth. Help me to shine Jesus’ light to the world, to walk each and every day confirming to God’s instructions and decrees. May I have true unbroken fellowship with others as Jesus teaches me how to truly and deeply love those around me. May the blood of Jesus cleanse me from ALL sin, erase the stain of sin in my life and then keep me cleansed from sin in ALL of its forms and manifestations. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

I sensed so strongly that in order to outwork the good works that I am called to do that I need to be God’s vessel fit and ready for His use. That in order for me to flow with God’s power, be His conduit, I need to be a clean holy vessel. A few days later, on the 1st of June, I felt that I needed to expand on my first prayer. I got up spent time reading through some verses and wrote:

No Longer I

The Message that has been announced long ago is this: God is Light!
From the very beginning of time, He alone turned the darkness into light.
He perfected and shaped nothing into something glorious.
From the very start, He has been lovingly kind in His design and creation.
There is NO darkness lurking within God, for He is holy.
There is NO deception hidden within God’s heart, for His message is always truthful.
There are NO lies that ever spill forth from God’s mouth, for every word He speaks comes to pass.
God will never ever lead me astray because He is perfect in righteousness.
God will lead me away from every temptation because there is no wickedness residing within Him.
God will never leave me alone for His love is fierce, unending, and perfect.
Oh, how glorious it is to know such a wonderful and faithful God.
I remind myself that I have shared in the crucifixion of Christ, for I have died to self.
That means that it is NO longer I who lives but Christ Jesus of Nazarene who lives in me.
I relinquish ALL control for it is no longer my way, but God’s way.
I long to walk in the paths He set for me long ago.
I let go of my stubborn nature for it is no longer my will, but God’s will that drives me.
I look to God for His leading, His guiding, His promptings….
I seek Wisdom for it is no longer my agenda, but God’s to-do list.
How I long to do the good works He created me for.
I desire to have true fellowship with my Lord, to never ever walk in the darkness again.
May I live each and every day confirming to God’s instructions, precepts and decrees.
I invite the blood of Jesus into my life to cleanse me from ALL sin, to delve deep and remove every spot and stain from my life, to remove every hurt and pain that still remains, to root up every ounce of doubt and fear, to render every false thing null and void in my life.
Then I pray for the blood of Jesus to keep me safe and cleansed
from sin in ALL of its forms and manifestations.
May God’s great Love resound in my heart, teaching me how to love those around me
so that I can live in true unbroken fellowship with others.
I live by faith – adhere to, rely upon, and completely trust in Jesus.
For He loved me so much that He gave Himself for me.
Jesus rose from the dead and the VERY same resurrection Spirit now resides in me
for the Holy Spirit lives within and releases Light and Life into every corner of my being!
Hallelujah, praise the Lord!
Inspired by 1 John 1:5-7, Galatians 2:20 & Romans 8:11.

Let ALL I do

And as I have reflected upon all of this I was hit with a revelation – when God (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) made us (mankind) we were made to be like God, we were made in God’s image, made with the spiritual and moral qualities of God (see Genesis 1:26). That means that my first and utmost priority is to reflect God to this world. I know that I have been Called to complete specific tasks and good works BUT the main question with everything is this: “how am I representing God to the world?”. 1 Corinthians 10:31 sums it up perfectly – whatever I do (no matter what it is) I am to do it ALL for the glory of my great God.
I also see that I can serve God right where I am, right now. I can serve God as I wash the dishes, hang up washing, make dinner for my family…….. I can serve God by pouring out my heart to you, faithfully stewarding the words God pours out of me by sharing them.
So what is now my motive for serving? Let ALL I do be for the glory of my great God – Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen!
Despite the battles, that almost stopped me, I did manage to finish my workplace hours and thus finish my diploma. Praise the Lord! “Give God the right to direct your life, and as you trust him along the way, you’ll find he pulled it off perfectly!” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭37:5‬ ‭(TPT‬‬) Yes and AMEN!‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

What’s a powerful revelation that has sustained you through a hard time? I’d love to hear from you.
Many blessings,
Keona