Productive NOT Busy

My journey with adrenal/chronic fatigue has taught me so much and recently I’ve been reminded to be productive not just busy.

I had a dream where I was back at my old workplace and my previous boss was being quite rude and demanding but I maintained my cool and said to God: “this is an act of faith”. But as I awoke my heart felt so heavy because I don’t want to go back to that workplace. As I laid in bed processing my dream I found myself singing (in my head): “I’m putting my trust in You, it’s a little bit overdue but I’m putting my trust in You”, from the song ‘Backseat Driver’ by TobyMac.

As I prayed I felt that the dream highlighted that there was something I hadn’t let go of or dealt with. I kept praying and asking God to please reveal what He needed me to do in order to put that behind me. I also looked up the lyrics for ‘Backseat Driver’ and the following felt very appropriate and relevant:

“It’s a whole new journey, a brand-new path

And I’mma fix my eyes so I won’t look back

Tame this beating heart in my chest

‘Cause everything in me wants to jump ahead

So light it up, up don’t let it fade

Light it up, up show me the way

Light it up Lord, just like you do

No second guessin’, I’mma move with you” *

I prayed:

I believe You’ve got me on a brand-new journey, chasing after completely new things and I don’t want to be held back by the past.

Jesus I fix my eyes upon You and Your ways, looking forward now to new things not my old silly way of doing stuff!

Reflections

I spent time reflecting. Busy is a state I’ve been in where my days were ridiculously full but I never seemed to get enough done. I remember one terribly horrific day: we had interstate visitors who were leaving really early from the airport, I thought I’d drop them to the airport around 5am and continue into work with the idea that I could leave early. But the demands of my day kept growing and growing and I was unable to get away. By around 4pm I was wrecked, I sat at my desk crying, shaking and with a heavy heart knowing that somehow I’d failed.

I had failed my family because I hadn’t been able to get home early like I promised.

I’d also somehow failed work because even those extra hours weren’t enough, they still demanded more. Eventually I left for home and as I drove home I just felt sick. As I chatted to my husband that night I knew things needed to change because that was just one example of the type of demands that were on me, either imposed by them or imposed by my perfectionist self. As I assessed my days I found that I was working longer hours than what I was paid for and skipping lunch breaks just to try and get everything done.

I left that workplace a few months later and felt such relief when I did. I had been in such a toxic place where my entire being was sapped of energy. As I look back I realise that I’d been in a void where they would kept asking more and more and more and more….

My reflections prompted me to spend more time in prayer and I looked up a Bible verse:

“Many plans are in a man’s mind, But it is the LORD’S purpose for him that will stand (be carried out).” Proverbs  19:21 (Amplified)

“A person may have many ideas concerning God’s plan for his life, but only the designs of his purpose will succeed in the end.” Proverbs 19:21 (The Passion Translation)

As I read a prayer tumbled from my lips: Lord I have many dreams and ideas about the future but I want Your perfect plans to prevail, not only because they are sovereign and will be fulfilled but also because it’s my calling to do Kingdom work. Lord please help me stay on-track, I don’t want to get bogged down ever again by being busy but not productive!

I will plan but I want Your plans to prevail Lord Jesus.

I will write down the ideas You give me and pray them into reality.

Being Effective

As I’ve journeyed upon this path, of learning to let go of being busy, a great desire has grown within me. I now want be productive for God. I desire to do the things He is calling me to do which will draw people to His heart of love. I don’t want to get so tied up in doing things just for the sake of doing.

I know that if I fall back into my old ways my efforts will be ineffective and I’ll just burn out again. When I’m busy I get distracted from spending time with God and I get spiritually weak. But I know that productivity actually flows from God, therefore spending time with Him is vital!

Busy means I’m just doing a lot of stuff but not making a difference, whereas productive is doing something that is effective! I desperately need wisdom to know the difference.

I desire to be productive NOT busy for all of my days!

I pray that as 2019 unfolds you can find yourself becoming more and more productive. I hope that you start to see the God-dreams in your life unfold.

Many blessings, Keona