Have you ever felt off, but you didn’t know why?
That happened to me last year. I was definitely in a slump.
I didn’t want to read novels, and I’ve loved reading since I was a little girl. I didn’t want to talk to my family, and my phone bill says I average over an hour a day talking to my family. I tidied up my messy house (yes, I checked my temperature; it was fine).
I just felt off.
It went on for a week, then I decided enough was enough and stopped procrastinating. It was time to do things!
I finished my writing project. Check! And Celebration!
I wrote to my best friend. A task I’d put off because I thought I had nothing to talk about. It felt good to have that done, to realize there were things worth talking about in my life. I thought all the weirdness was gone and done with.
My best friend didn’t reply right away, but that was normal. I knew she’d write back eventually. I kept right on ticking things off my to-do list, feeling good. A few days later, she wrote, but her response was a surprise.
“You ok? You sounded a bit down in your letter,” she said.
Down? But I’d thought I was doing better!
Was I doing better? Her comment made me stop and evaluate some things.
I wasn’t depressed. But there had been a knot in my chest for a while, even while I’d been so sure I was feeling better. Something still just felt off.
The gentle prompting from my friend encouraged me to stop pretending this ‘weird’ feeling was going to disappear on its own.
Messaging her helped me work out a few things, namely that I was feeling insecure about my writing, but I told her I didn’t know what to do with my feelings. Even as I typed the words, something inside me said, “You should pray.” It seemed a little condescending to type that in a message, so I left it unsaid.
I’d sort of been praying. Well, I’d start, but then I’d run out of ideas of what to say and then let myself get distracted until I was reading my Bible and not even attempting to pray at all. That wasn’t good.
So, I tried to pray, but it had been so long the bridge between me and God was rickety. Prayer didn’t seem to help, but I knew it was an important step even if it didn’t feel like I accomplished anything by it.
The next morning was a Sunday, and a lady got up to share her testimony in church. It wasn’t dramatic like her husband who’d gone before her. It was a rather quiet testimony, but something she said drove straight into my heart.
“Even though I was a nobody, I was someone to Him,” she said.
The penny dropped. I’d been seeking validation from the world. Craving their support and praise, and they hadn’t provided any. No one was noticing me. That’s why I was feeling insecure.
That lady reminded me that, no matter what the world thinks, I am important to God. I matter to Him, and I just needed to get on with what He asked of me whether the world ever noticed or not.
I am someone to Him, and that’s what truly matters!
Are you feeling down? Feeling unloved or unnoticed?
There is Someone who ALWAYS notices you. In fact, you can’t get away from Him. King David said he tried to escape God. ‘If I ascend up into heaven… if I make my bed in hell… If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me’. Ps. 139:8-10 KJV
Why is God’s attention glued to us? Well, it’s here in this verse:
They may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands. Is. 49:15-16 KJV
The God Who died for you isn’t going to forget you.
To the King of kings, Lord of lords, to the Majesty and Glory above all, you are somebody.
It’s funny how the most powerful and accessible thing we have – prayer – it sometimes the last thing we reach for. I have found myself in a similar position many a time and once I stop and actually spend time in prayer with God, everything shifts as He shows me what’s happening in my heart and mind. Thanks for this post, Dienece, it’s a beautiful reminder that we are always on His mind.
Prayer is something I often forget and need to be reminded how important it is. Thank you, Leila, for your encouragement.
Well said, Leila.
Hi Dienece, Thanks for sharing your encouraging words. I’ve found that when I return to the Lord in prayer, I gain the perspective I need and the reassurance that His love is enough. External validation from the world is fleeting and fickle. It’s complicated when we’re writing for Him and with Him. We want our words to reach people and sometimes it can feel like no one is listening. Obedience to our calling is so important and understanding the season we’re in with our writing life. Thankfully He is in control and we can seek His wisdom as well as resting in Him when our creative well feels empty.
Yes, in positions where you need to deal with people’s approval, it can be hard to keep the right mindset. Thank you for the encouragement.
It’s hard. Life often isn’t fair or just. The traditional publishing path will be full of rejection from editors, agents, etc. and that can be hard to stomach. Sometimes we can’t know or find out why our work is rejected and it can be difficult to move past these situations. Thankfully, God’s approval is significantly more important than the approval of other people. The haters will hate… we can’t control or change that but we can choose to ignore the noise and focus on what God wants us to do.
Well said.