Writers Life | Mending Holes, Writing Whole

Imagine trying to open your front door with someone else’s key.

Cutting, sharpening or lubricating it will likely prove futile because it’s not your key. In the same way, attempting to mend holes in your writing schedule with strategies that have worked for other writers may not always unlock your specific-to-you writing best.

A Hole in the Bucket

Writers of a certain age might remember the famous song by Harry Belafonte:

‘There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza. There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, a hole.

 So, fix it dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry. Then fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, fix it. 

With what shall I fix it, dear Liza, dear Liza? With what shall I fix it, dear Liza, with what?

With straw, dear Henry…’

Feeling stuck

And the song goes on for several versus. Liza, making suggestions to solve Henry’s problems, and Henry rebutting with new problems: the straw is long; the axe is dull; the stone is dry, and so on. It concludes in true ‘tied ending’ form, Liza suggesting the bucket, the same troublesome bucket, is filled with water to wet the dry stone. Henry, still singing with more positivity than most of us might have under stuck circumstances, reminds her: ‘There’s a hole in the bucket…’

As writers, and as humans, this vicious circle, mouse-on-a-wheel effect is familiar. I suspect we’ve all had this disheartening experience, attentively listening to others, curiously asking questions, productively seeking mentors, only to end up where we started, facing the same problems, sporting the same holes.

The Reality

I recently had this experience. Freshly inspired by writer’s events, I envisioned overcoming my time poverty and moving forward with my novel, which I have been writing for 6 years. Instead, I was faced with the same long straw, dull axe, and dry stone that I had before. I could call them excuses, and I have many times but faced with 110 student reports to write and the responsibility of ordinary life to fulfil, I honestly felt that squeezing in time to write for myself was impossible. Of course, I could have woken up at 4:am to write for an hour before work, but that would dull my concentration and make me dry (and boring from exhaustion) when teaching my students. Or, I could have scheduled in time to write on the weekend, but that would take time away from bonding with family and friends which would dull my weekend and dry up my relationships. Clearly, my bucket was still leaking.

Imposter Syndrome

Of course, failing to fix the leaks even when extraordinary workshops offered logical, reasonable, useful writing tips, can be confronting. I started doubting myself as a writer, generating self-talk that called me out as fake, not a writer at all. An imposter. If I wanted it bad enough, I would make the sacrifices necessary. I became angry with myself when I thought of all the writers that I know who have the same responsibilities I have, who honour and include their craft as part of their daily life. It depleted my motivation and questioned my commitment. These feelings are not new. I have felt them before when writing has taken a backseat to other responsibilities or when I have reneged on kickstarting more productive writing regimes. Ironically, these waves regurgitate the guilt I feel sometimes when I do write regularly; I tell myself: I should be completing tasks that genuinely require my attention instead of wasting  hours/days/weeks/years on creating fake stories. More holes.

The Key

I’ve been writing long enough to know that of course writing regularly is of great benefit. I strongly believe this too, and appreciate every book and every person who has given me this advice. People who write in their day job, however, may like me, experience seasons of dry spells in their creative writing routine. We are still writers, and as a fellow author recently pointed out, ‘you’re still writing’. Yes, I am and so are you, in one form or another. I didn’t think of my corporate writing or classroom planning as writing, but of course it. It is writing all the same. We need to remember that solutions come in many forms. If straw doesn’t work, try PVC repair, Water Weld Epoxy, Waterproof tape, or anything that works for you. The key to our writing success is in our acknowledgement that our writer authenticity is not subject to how often we write or the writing tips we implement. We have earned our craft and the time we spend/lack of time we spend on it. Our creativity, in every form we use it, is our key: it may not always mend our holes but it makes us whole.

What’s your advice on balancing corporate and creative writing commitments?