Depression and Mustard Seed Faith

As I studied each extensive review on the Book Fun Readers Only web page, I fell into a state of humility.

A time that felt almost overwhelming. How different would your struggle have been if you had taken your focus off the day-to-day struggle, and considered your situation with a more analytical mind? What would have changed if you had known that as hard as that time was, your struggle would end? What would have changed if you’d believed that?
Last month I spoke about the lie that depression, anxiety, and grief tell us—that their season will never end. That you will struggle through the pain forever. That those who totally believe the lie may also believe suicide is the only way out.
But seasons in life come, and they go. Just like the seasons of nature, our lives are an integration of natural cycles. But we often forget that for every beginning, there is also an ending. Like our winters, springs, summers, and falls our lives go through seasons of change—joy and depression, peace and grief, good and bad. We are always growing, always feeling, always living through beginnings and endings.
But what happens when we get stuck in a season?
When I look back upon a particularly depressing time of my life, I imagine I must have looked like a pajama-clad version of Miss Havisham. Charles Dicken’s tragic character had been cheated and jilted at the altar, and lived in her house exactly as it was the day of her wedding. She never changed out of the bridal attire now rotting on her body. She hated, manipulated, and poisoned everyone in her life. I had days of similar despair.
So how did I move on? Why did I not continue like Miss Havisham, with rotting attire in unhygienic disarray, and pushing my relationships to the limits?
I decided to believe the truth the Lord had shown me—that I did not always live in a state of joy, and I could not always live in a state of depression.
I made a decision: I would do one positive thing each day. It didn’t matter what that one thing was. What mattered was that I did it.
Get out of bed and make a cup of tea. Get dressed. Make a phone call. Make breakfast. Make lunch. Make dinner. Have a shower. Brush my teeth.
I started with simple tasks. Anyone struggling through the dark days of depression will know that some days you have trouble doing even the simplest things. Each day, I decided I would accomplish one small task. Just one.
Go for a walk. Talk to a neighbor. Meet a friend for coffee. Do the shopping.
Sometimes I surprised myself by completing several tasks.
My set tasks and accomplishments got bigger and bigger. I was working through my season and I didn’t even realize it. Soon the satisfaction of completing simple physical tasks gave me the motivation to tackle mental and emotional tasks.
Read one Proverb from my Bible. One Psalm. Pray for three minutes. Meditate on one word, then one passage.
There were days when reading even one verse was a challenge, but once I decided to do that one thing, I honored my decision to do it.
Looking back, I can see another truth about the seasons of our lives—they require us to work through them.
How easy it is to get stuck in those challenging seasons. To be frozen like Miss Havisham, unable to forgive, unable to see past the pain. I found working through a season began with the decision to do one small thing. Just as faith as small as a mustard seed can move a mountain, the decision to do one small thing can change the course of a season.

He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20 (NIV)

Dear reader, there is great power in decision making, so start. Start small. Decide that depression is a liar, because that is the truth. It is. Decide to do those small things. I know from experience that they count. Think mustard-seed small. As your faith increases, you will see God move that mountain.

Note: This article was first seen in Book Fun Magazine.