My debut novel launched yesterday. Among the tears, excitement, nerves and sense of satisfaction was a lesson that I’ve learned over the nine months it’s taken The Baggage Handler to go from Word document stored on my computer to an actual book I can hold in my hands.
This is the lesson: how to balance all the feedback.
Publishing my debut novel has given me flashbacks to when our eldest child was born. The reaction to those early minutes, days and months of my son’s life actually reflected the emotion I’ve felt about the arrival of my debut novel – tears, excitement, nerves and a sense of satisfaction.
We brought my son home, then the first piece of criticism came. And it hurt. Not because the criticism was harsh, or that I knew deep down it was right, but because it was critical of something that was a part of me. Something I had created. What I had to learn – as all new parents have to learn – is how to handle comments or criticism that come your way. Which ones to listen to. Which ones might be helpful. Which ones to let flow over you without landing.
I’ve been dealing with professional criticism my whole life. As a copywriter, I’ve had to deal with people’s opinions on whether they like something I’ve written or not. We work in a very subjective field, where there are no definitive answers, just shades of opinionated grey about what is good and what isn’t. I regularly hear differing opinions about the same piece of text – some love it, some are ambivalent, some dislike it and think they could do better. That’s normal.
But with my parenting – which is also subjective – it wasn’t that easy. That brings me back to my debut novel. Even though I’ve had 28 years of handling criticism, and 17 as a parent, I had to learn how to handle criticism when it came to my fiction. There are three things I’ve learned.
The 5-star reviews v the 1-star reviews
There is a real temptation to embrace the 5-star reviews and ignore the 1-star reviews. I went through a process where I had two low reviews in a row and started to second-guess myself. Then another review came in – 5-star – and it changed how I felt about being a writer.
Neither of those responses was healthy. This is not the way to handle it. Here’s a conundrum: the reviewer who gave me 5-stars, and the reviewer who gave me 1-star are both right. They did or didn’t engage with the story. Based on their reading of it.
The lesson? To not look at reviews in isolation. Identify trends, and act on those. If all of your reviews of 3-stars and below all talk about the same thing (ie your characters don’t work or your phrasing is clumsy or your story is a step beyond being believable) then there might be something in it.
The reader who gets it v the reader who doesn’t
Following on from the first lesson is how we perceive those people who either like or don’t like the book. A 5-star reviewer isn’t necessarily someone who “gets it”. A 1-star reviewer can’t just be discounted as someone who doesn’t.
You can form an echo chamber around you, where only those opinions from those who “get it” become valid. That’s a fine balance for a writer, where we always need to find the challenge to improve our writing, but have a fragile self-esteem about what we’re currently writing.
The lesson? Don’t turn feedback into a personal thing. It seems a modern way of handling disagreements – disregard the opinion you disagree with by somehow labeling the opinion-giver – but it’s not helpful in the longer-term for you and your writing. You need dissenting voices to keep challenging you to write better, cleaner or deeper.
The way people give you feedback
The last lesson is to manage the way people give you feedback. I drew from my corporate experience in terms of handling feedback in this way. Many years ago, I changed my language when it comes to getting input or feedback to my corporate writing. I introduced this word: why? If someone “liked’ my ad campaign … why? If someone didn’t “like” my brochure copy … why? This helps remove the subjectivity as it goes beyond like/dislike into whether or not they engaged.
So wherever I can, I ask people why. That’s hard to do when someone rates your story as two stars but doesn’t leave anything else for you to work on. I file that one away and don’t stew over it.
Also, I’ve found a real frustration in getting a rave review alongside 3.5 stars. I started to question how a book could be “amazing” and yet only get 70% approval.
The lesson? You can’t control HOW people give you feedback. You can offer them advice on what’s helpful for you (as I did with my corporate clients) but you can’t control it. It can be frustrating, but that’s the nature of the industry.
Great post, David. There’s a lot of practical wisdom here.
Congratulations on the release of your book baby!
Thanks Elaine. I think the concept of getting/accepting feedback is a challenge for all of us. We need it, but it can be draining.
Congratulations David! Such an exciting time 🎉 I think I learned a lot about dealing with feedback through the various writing contests I entered in pre-published days, which showed how different each reader’s experience can be. Over the past few years I’ve chosen to not read many reviews (apart from a few trusted bloggers and industry reviews) as I’ve found it all too easy to second guess my work, and really, where do you stop? After 100 reviews? 1000? I know my books appeal to people who enjoy clean historical romance with a strong Christian message, and as they’re my market I will write for them and trust God, my editors and my beta readers with my stories. And once the book is in the hands of readers, then they can read it and make of it what they will. Some will like it, some won’t, and that’s ok. Onto the next one!
Great perspective, Carolyn. Wonderful that you now feel ‘accepted’ by the relevant section of the reading community and what others think isn’t all that important whether good or soso…
Thanks Carolyn. I too entered competitions and that was a brutal slap-in-the-face reminder of how subjective it is. I entered one title and the three judges gave it 92, 93 and 60. (See, I still remember the scores). I couldn’t logically explain how the same content would attract such wide opinion. The lesson there was there is no logic. It’s based on opinion, not fact. I think your point on focussing on respected bloggers/reviewers is a good one to take one. You respect their opinion, so it carries more weight. For similar reasons I never read comments sections of newspapers or even YouTube.
Excellent, David. Great wisdom for all content creators who produce for an audience.
Thanks mate. As you know after our discussions, it’s a process to work out how you manage feedback and what you do with it.
Congratulations on your new release, David. My biggest frustration with feedback is getting it. As most of my books are either indie or self published it is difficult to actually get reviews. I’d like to encourage readers to be giving of their time and write a review if they can. Even if we get one star or two star reviews at least we are getting feedback. Your Advice is really helpful for us to learn how to interpret the feedback that we get.
Thanks Meredith. That question actually came up in an interview I did – how can readers support writers. My response was that they should take the time to let the writer know they at least read the book. It’s like any type of feedback in business. You don’t hear from the 80% of people who might be happy with you, but you certainly hear from the 20% who aren’t. Even if just a handful of the happy readers (or even those who thought it was just okay) took the time to let an author know, that would be really helpful. And even if the feedback isn’t flash – your characters need work, your plotting needs work, your phrasing needs work, whatever – at least that gives an author somewhere to start.
Congratulations on the release of your novel, David. That’s awesome! And some great tips too re feedback.
I was a Uni lecturer for 25 years and we had student evaluations every year. Fortunately I mainly got good reviews, but the occasional bad one would have me second-guessing myself. I learned over the years to try to stand back and look at the comments objectively. If there was a poorer rating, did they give a reason and was the reason valid? If it was, take that on board and try to improve. If not, try not to worry about it. Often easier said than done. I think it comes down to being teachable. If we approach feedback with an open mind, we can be discerning. If it’s constructive, take it on board. If it’s just not someone’s cup of tea, that’s their prerogative. If they’re being mean-spirited, ignore. Hope the book does really well for you 🙂
Hah! Opinions. We can’t live without them but can’t control them either. Thanks for the helpful perspective. We just have to learn ‘to roll with the punches’ it seems and be thankful for the ‘goodie’ that come. We’ve learned this with our radio programs. We asked a Victorian station manager did they receive feedback (as we usually get it from listeners ourselves) and when he said ‘no’, at first we felt disappointed. But he added,’ oh, people only contact us when they DON’T like something.’ There you go! 🙂
Congrats on your first novel. Thanks also for sharing.
I find writing daunting because it can be such hard work and I’m putting my heart out there to be potentially ‘trampled’, which is why I believe God has been taking me through the latest journey. Being strong in Him gives me the courage to step out but also the assurance that He will help me to weather the backlash and the haters. Again thanks for your insights. Blessings
David, congrats on your book release! 🙂