Stop The Joy Thief Of Writing

Posted byNarelle Atkins 12 Comments on Stop The Joy Thief Of Writing
Author photo of Anna Kosmanovski (credit: Stephlee Photography)

Today we feature a guest post from Anna Kosmanovski on comparison: how writers (even Christian writers) can get pulled into the comparison trap (and what we should do instead). Welcome, Anna!

Comparison has become something of a sport in the modern world, thanks to social media – and writers are not immune from this affliction.

If we’re having a bad day, scrolling Instagram can make us feel like we’re stuck in a house of mirrors at a carnival – our own lives feel distorted in comparison. And comparison is the key word here.

Three people on their smartphones
Image from www.pexels.com.

It happens like this:

You see a writer you know on Instagram, holding up a signed publishing contract with a #blessed hashtag. Looking on your friend’s cousin (whom you met once) page – and their book is being made into a film. Someone else’s word count was off the charts that week while yours is more humble.

I’ve been there myself. And it’s a struggle, a rabbit hole I choose not to go down.

Unhealthy comparison can lead us on negative journeys of envy, insecurity or even puffed-up pride.

It was Theodore Roosevelt who said the famous words that comparison is the thief of joy. But what should Christian writers do when the Green-Eyed Monster knocks on the door?

During my university degree, a good friend of mine in the course had her short story accepted in the literary journal while I didn’t. I remember feeling surprised (hurt, if I’m honest) and was wondering what was wrong with mine. I hated the way I felt, because she was a good friend and also sensitive too, so she probably picked up on how I felt.

I can remember meeting other writers and experiencing strong feelings like intimidation, jealousy or insecurity.

Then my husband put a mirror up to me. He started teasing me about being a jealous writer. I started to laugh. Then I started to see it for what it is.

I think the antidote to negative comparison or jealously is two-fold:

1) Focus on our call

Pressing into our own journey on writing, recognising we are writing because we feel a call to do so, and trusting that something good will come from that.

2) Embrace community

To intentionally cultivate a community of writers, a “safe” place where iron sharpens iron.

I acknowledge that comparison can be healthy, in the way that noticing the excellence of another writer can inspire us for good. In this way, fellow writers can act as role models and even mentors from afar as we learn from them.

In Phillippians 4:8 we are advised to “Fix your thoughts on what is true…honourable…right… pure…lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” (Phillippians 4:8 NLT)

It is excellent when a writer friend gets published, worthy of praise when a writer you admire wins a writing prize and it is certainly honourable to see the hard work of another pay off.

Other writers, and their success, can call us to admiration – which in turn may be motivation. This will inspire a result and is outward focussed.

We don’t know what will come as a result of our own journey, but we know we are called to be faithful to our writing – and only we can be faithful to our writing call.

Don't compare yourself to others
Image from www.pexeps.com.
The Bible also tells us: “Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load” (Galatians 6:4-6 NIV)

So let’s celebrate others’ successes, all the while giving our own writing up to God. And staying in the lane that He has for us.

Have you struggled with this too, and what has helped you?

Author

12 replies on “Stop The Joy Thief Of Writing”

  1. Thanks for this important post, Anna. I think because writers often write from a place of vulnerability it’s very easy to fall into comparison and envy – and yes, that can definitely be me! One of the things that’s helped me is to practice ‘living with the opposite spirit’ – to be intentional about blessing / congratulating / encouraging those I envy. I find that even though I might need to grit my teeth it takes away some of the sting, and cleanses my heart, and helps me remember that just because God has blessed one person it doesn’t mean He’s not going to still bless me. We can be such complicated creatures, can’t we?

    1. As Carolyn say, this is always an important discussion for we creatives to have as it is something that we all grapple with in some form or other.

      Like Carolyn, I’ve found the answer for me is to pray blessing over those I envy and also do something practical for them even if it is simply retweeting one of their tweets. It’s one of the fabulous things about the social media world – it is so easy to encourage someone but as Carolyn states we need to be intentional about it.

      Thanks for your post, Anna and lovely to have you share with the ACW crew.

      1. Thanks Ian! I agree, this is an important topic. At some points in my life it has been centre stage … and it always ebbs and flows like all things.
        You’re right… social media can be a great opportunity to bless others. And we do, it actually blesses ourselves too doesn’t it!

        My pleasure… I was excited to guest post on here, thanks so much!

    2. Hi Carolyn, thanks for your comment and glad you found it a good post.
      You’re so right… writing in itself is vulnerable and therefore we are open to emotions/insecurity/etc. more easily.
      Yes we are complicated! But it’s good to keep moving forward in growth, so I love your remedy for it! 🙂

  2. Hi Anna, Welcome to ACW. 🙂 I agree with Carolyn and Ian – this is an important discussion topic and I’m yet to meet a writer who hasn’t struggled with jealousy and envy.

    Social media, in many ways, is a disaster for creatives. On the one hand, authors are told to ‘get your name out there’ and ‘connect with your target audience’ and ‘market your books’ . But, the very process of doing these things, and measuring the success of various social media activities, can create and feed both envy and jealousy.

    I will confess I rarely look at my newsfeeds ‘for fun’, and I’ve learned to stay away from social media when I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed. I’ll turn to other forms of entertainment eg. reading , tv series or movies, that I find more relaxing. I also suffer from migraines, and I will limit my screen time to minimise the risk of developing a migraine.

    Thanks for sharing your excellent and important post with us.

    1. Thank you Narelle, and I’m so pleased to be here today. 🙂 I had this topic on my heart because, as mentioned I have struggled with it before and so I thought sharing it may help others as well as myself…
      Yes… the green-eyed monster can strike us all, and even when we least expect it. So it’s good to think about these things… bring openness into it… and the act of doing can act as a kind of remedy in the process.
      Oh, you are SO right about social media and I agree with that too. The times I’ve jumped on social media to “validate” myself when I’m feeling down … never has uplifting results. Reading, good shows, going out for a walk, going to a cafe… good alternatives. Thanks for your comment! Anna

  3. Congratulations on your article Anna. Great to see you here. 😀 I really loved the 2-fold antidote to negative comparison or jealousy … Focus on our Call and Embrace Community. I find the online community and writers groups have been my lifeline: offering advice, suggestions, recommendations, warnings (of Vanity Presses) and encouragement as I started from scratch a couple of years ago. I have found much encouragement from attending our wonderful writer groups in my local community – especially Christian groups where we uplift each other and offer Godly critique and Prayer over a friendly cuppa!

    1. Hi Susan, thanks so much! It is really fun to be here today. 🙂
      Thanks for your feedback on what I propose as an antidote. Whenever I feel like that, remembering my call and my unique journey in life (and we all have a UNIQUE journey) makes me feel better. “Staying in my lane” has been a recent almost mantra! Staying in my lane and not anyone else’s. 🙂
      Agree too with the community aspect. I’ve been doing that since last year and that has blessed my socks off. Now I can’t imagine life as a writer without community – be it our online groups, Christian groups or simply meeting up with other writers in a cafe to write some words together. But you’re right… chatting over a cuppa with other writers is the best! 🙂

  4. Good call. I don’t know how many times recently, I’ve considered giving up altogether. But you’re right. It is about what God has put on each individual heart, and being obedient to that. Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability.

    1. Thanks Meredith. I’m learning honesty and vulnerability makes life all the richer.

      Disheartenment and doubt can plague us all but it’s a calming, grounding and inspiring thing to remember who we are in God and the journey He has for us. (Speaking from experience.) Unique. (As everyone’s is!) Thanks for your comment.

  5. Welcome Anna, I love that quote of Theodore Roosevelt, I hadn’t heard it before but its so true.

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