A beautiful ballad by Ed Sheeran and Taylor Swift, the Joker and the Queen tells the tale of two people who are from opposite worlds, finding love and connection.
As writers, our method of operation is to try to get into the head and heart of people – albeit made-up people – to be able to represent them in a genuine way. Done well, a writer can speak the heart of a character who is the polar opposite of who they are in real life.
Jenny Glazebrook is a master of this when she develops characters in her stories, and shows the depths of good, bad and ugly in different personalities, and how those depths react and interact with those diametrically opposed.
In recent times, I’ve noticed what used to be known as the ‘generation gap’ turning into a generation chasm.
I was born in the zone that borders Boomer and Gen-X. I’m a kind of mixed-up thinker, sometimes responding as a Boomer, sometimes as an X-er. I have, for the most part felt reasonably balanced, and that the transition between the two generations, though bumpy, is doable so long as grace and love is applied.
With Gen-Y now as young adults, the difference between Boomer sensibilities and Gen-Y way of thinking seems to be more marked, and the path between strewn with more points of contention that could explode if accidentally trodden on.
Was this how it was for generations past? Did the Pioneers believe the young adults post-First-World-War to be a careless, disrespectful lot, with all their dancing the Charleston and wearing short dresses? Did the builders from the depression era look at the Boomers, with their sexual revolution, rock-n-roll and love for technology, and think they were bound for trouble if they didn’t respect tradition of times past?
It seems that generational change has been around, at least observable in the last one hundred years, so we shouldn’t be so surprised. Perhaps we should have expected it.
One of the things that has emerged in recent times, that doesn’t seem easily pacified with a laugh about the generation gap, is what I will call (for the sake of this blog) political correctness in motion.
There seems to have arisen two diametrically opposed opinions, both with loud and demanding voices: 1. You can’t say anything anymore – PC gone mad; 2. Call out the sexism, racism, misogynism, phobias, toxic behaviour, and separate yourself from it.
If we practise the application of grace, patience and kindness – listening more, speaking less – we can get a feel of what each team is saying.
This is, after all, a point where our grandchildren and our grandparents could form a chasm that is impossible to bridge. This could represent a civil war that takes a toll on family relationships. This is a time to be praying for wisdom and guidance of how to traverse the minefield of sensitivities that have come to the surface.
There are so many social issues that the Boomers never even thought of.
We were not educated in cultural sensitivity. We were not made aware of sexual abuses. We weren’t called to be mindful of bullying behaviour and encouraged to have a strategy to interrupt it. When I say we, I should say me. I am now cognisant that I was from, what is now affectionately termed, the privileged group. The white, Christian, stable-family, rich class.
So when the PC-gone-mad group cry out ‘woke’ as a derogatory term meant to demean the other group, I realise that I’m a little ‘woke’ and can see the hurts of some minority groups are not easily healed.
I termed this piece ‘The Joker and the Queen’.
A common justification of group A is, ‘can’t you take a joke?’ ‘I was just kidding.’ ‘You can’t say anything anymore.’ ‘Toughen up, princess.’
The social justice surge that is finding political traction is that government must tighten laws to make hate speech, vilification and discrimination a criminal offense. The jokers scoff at this, and ramp up their ridicule and resistance, calling for freedom of speech. And so the vicious cycle continues.
“Here I am, stuck in the middle with you. Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.”[1]
What a conundrum. As a Boomer, something tells me that cutting off the toxic ones in your life, using your words to communicate your hurt feelings etc sounds good, hopefully bringing about peace and positive vibes, but it undermines a person’s ability to build resilience.
What then, should I abuse loudly and often so that young people will toughen up and become strong. Of course not.
The Boomers and X-ers have to take responsibility. I can no longer say, ‘I didn’t know’, because I do know. It is time to go back to the Bible and see what free speech actually means.
James 3:1-12 NIV talks about the power of the tongue.
“ With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.”
Proverbs 13:3
“Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.”
Ephesians 4:29
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
Free speech? Just what do we mean by that?
Self-control is a fruit of the spirit, as is love, peace, kindness. If we are walking by the Spirit of God, surely we are going to hear the crying heart of the hurt and broken, and take the time to consider what words come out of our mouths.
In the same way, those who are using some harsh tactics to try to get peace need to see that sometimes the door swings both ways. There are two sides to every coin. While condemning the careless words of other people—sometimes the simple result of coming from a different generation—throwing out cutting words that basically send the message ‘you are toxic’, and then stonewalling family and friends may not be the best way to bring peace.
It’s at this point I believe the timeless, all-encompassing love of Christ is the healer who can bring the generations together.
One begins to listen, soften and ask the Holy Spirit for self-control, wisdom and grace, the other asks the Holy Spirit for understanding, comfort and healing. With this work going on in both, there is the opportunity for reconciliation.
It is important to realise that our society can make laws to criminalise bullying and insensitive speech; parents and schools can soften the blow and protect young people, but somewhere, sometime, every person is going to find themselves in the middle of a bunch of thoughtless yahoos who will say whatever they want. If our young person has not learned to take their hurt to the healer to find strength and comfort, it is going to be extra hard for them.
There has been a shift in thinking with the new generation. I pray folks from both stop and seek wisdom and the power of reconciliation that comes from Jesus Christ, the healer.
When you’re writing characters, have you ever come to this point of the generation chasm? How have you worked your characters? Were you able to bring your characters to a point of healing and reconciliation that was credible given the tension that exists in today’s society?
I look forward to hearing from you.
[1] Stealers Wheel, 1972. Stuck in the Middle with You
[2] Photograph by Ryan Moulton, Unsplash.
